


sick of losing soulmates (this love will drive me mad)

by phoenix_inthe_fire



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-06 12:42:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13411488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenix_inthe_fire/pseuds/phoenix_inthe_fire
Summary: "Yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates, won't be alone again. I can finally see you're as fucked up as me, so how do we win?"Or: Kara goes mad in her grief and won't stop until she fixes it. Alex just wants to make sure her sister is okay.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea I got randomly that I've already pretty much outlined. So ya know, if y'all like it, I can keep going. I'll add more tags if I keep going, don't wanna give anything away. Also shout out to my bae comebackbehere23 for editing for me.

When Alex enters the house of her sister, she feels the eery quiet settle into her bones; it’s almost like a shell of what it used to be. Where it was once so bright and full of laughter, it’s now shades of gray and silent creaking of a house so old. The air is stuffy and Alex briefly wonders when the last time the windows had been opened, when any source of light that wasn’t man made had gotten to touch the walls.

“Kara?” Alex calls out.

  
Her voice echoes across the empty house and she feels her heart leap into her throat at the silence that answers her. She’d only been gone for two days, a business trip she couldn’t hold off and she’d made specific arrangements for James and Winn to look after Kara in her absence. But James, they’d found quickly, that he is someone that Kara can’t bare to stand. He was too close to the _incident_ and while Alex feels bad about his guilt, Kara’s feelings came first. She also knew Winn has no backbone and if Kara had let her temper flare, something that happened often now that _she_ was gone, he’d have scurried away as soon as possible. But she hadn’t thought too much damage could be done in two days.

  
Evidently she was wrong.

  
It’s when Alex walks further into the house that she hears it, the faint sizzles of electricity coming from beneath the house. She’s at the basement door and thumping down the stairs before she can even wonder what it is. Kara is there in the basement and Alex feels relief pour into her body so hard that she has to grip the banister a little tighter to not topple over because Kara’s _alive_. She’s not well, she hasn’t been since _it_ happened, but she’s here and Alex will keep fighting for her to stay until Kara can fight for herself.

  
There’s another crackle of electricity and then Kara’s swearing as the room illuminates in blue before going completely dark again. There’s half built inventions all around her. An empty pizza box in the corner and a few scattered water bottles on the floor and it’s the only thing that lets Alex know she’s eaten. It’s not anywhere near the amount of calories she should be consuming but it’s a start.

  
“Kara!” Alex calls out, walking further into the basement and frowning at all the clutter that surrounds her. “Didn’t you hear me calling you?”

  
Kara doesn’t even look up from whatever she’s tinkering at. As Alex gets closer she can hear her little sister muttering under her breath but it’s not in English, it’s definitely Kryptonian. Alex starts to feel that first tick of fear at how far her sister has dissociated in _two_ days. The work bench in front of Kara is littered with notes and scribbled Kryptonian symbols, Alex barely understands it. There’s rocks that Alex knows are stolen from the DEO sitting in plates over Bunsen burners and something green and frothy almost spilling its way out of a beaker. There’s another sizzle of electricity and whatever is in Kara’s hand shorts out.

  
“Fuck!” Kara bellows, startling Alex so severely she jumps and knocks into the table.

  
Kara takes whatever is in her hand and throws it so hard across the room that it scorched a hole straight through the house and thunks against the indestructible metal beams that were the foundation of the house. Alex is suddenly glad that _she_ had been insistent on building the house from scratch.

  
Kara let’s out a sound of distress, hands knotting in her hair and Alex finally gets a good look at her. She smells like she’s been down here for days and there’s dirt and grime and unknown substances on her shirt and streaking her face. Her glasses are nowhere to be found and her eyes are haunted; she looks pale, gaunt, like she hasn’t been in the sunlight in weeks. She’s slowly destroying her body from the inside out and Alex has half a mind to tranq her and strap her under a sunlamp but she’s trying to be gentle these days, has been since _it_ happened. She thinks maybe if she had been a little tougher back then things wouldn’t have gotten this bad but she’d been grieving too and there wasn’t a how to manual for this.

  
“Kara!” Alex tries again, louder this time even snaps her fingers.

  
This time it gets Kara’s attention and she looks at Alex like she’s confused at how Alex has just appeared. She briefly looks back over her shoulder at the contraption she’s surely destroyed and then back at Alex.

  
“Did it work?” Kara asks, perplexed but something like hope lighting her eyes in a way Alex hasn’t seen for _months_.

  
Alex frowns, “Did what work? Kara, what the hell are you doing down here?”

  
Kara looks disappointed and then dismissive and she rubs her forehead with her thumb and forefinger, “Nothing. It’s nothing because it didn’t work. I’ll have to try again. I did something wrong it should have worked this time.” She breaks off into mutterings again, looking down at all her notes and picking up a pencil to make new ones.

  
Alex feels her patience wear thin, mainly from the fear of watching her sister almost disengage as a person before her eyes. She pushes none to gently at Kara’s shoulder to get her attention again, but Kara isn’t taking care of herself like she should be so her shoulder gives where once it would have hurt Alex’s hand before moving a centimeter. It knocks what symbol Kara had been scrawling askew. Alex actually feels the room get cold when Kara looks up at her slowly, eyes narrowed in anger. She doesn’t even look like herself anymore; Alex doesn’t even know who she’s looking at right now.

  
“Why are you still in my house?” Kara grinds out, teeth actually bared like Alex isn’t her _sister_ , her _family_.

  
“I’m trying to help you,” Alex says evenly, setting her shoulders and preparing for a fight, it feels like all she does anymore is fight one sided battles. “You’re making yourself sick down here. When’s the last time you ate or showered?”

  
Kara scoffs, “I don’t need to eat and I don't need your help. You humans, so weak, it’s no wonder that you get so little done. Always taking breaks for things that don’t matter.”

  
It’s so reminiscent of the time Kara has been infected with Red Kryptonite that Alex can feel her hands dampen in sweat at the adrenaline now coursing through her veins. She should have left, come back again with a level head and more patience, but she was also tired of the coddling of and the being gentle.

  
“You feel that way about Lena?” Alex goads, blind in her own pain for a moment. “Think she was a weak human too? I mean you must since she went and got herself killed right?”

  
Kara has her pinned to the opposite wall with a hand squeezing her throat before Alex can even blink. Her head throbs mildly at the base and she blinks spots out of her vision as she grasps at Kara’s wrist.

  
“You will _never_ speak of her like that again.”

Kara’s eyes are practically on fire and her face is snarling with a rage that Alex has never seen before. She holds Alex against the wall for a moment longer before seeming to remember herself and lets Alex loose. Alex hits the basement floor with her knees, gasping for breath even as she picks herself up.

  
“Touchy subject?” She questions sarcastically, a little miffed at being tossed around so easily.

  
Kara still quakes in rage, Alex isn’t really sure what keeps her from attacking again. It isn’t until the contraption still in the corner of the room, starts to crackle that Alex realizes that Kara’s attention has long since shifted from her. Her sister super speeds to it, picking it up more gently than Alex has ever seen her touch _anything_ in months. There’s a smile on her face, a real genuine smile, as she holds the crackling thing in her bare hands.

  
“It works!” She tells Alex, gleeful and almost looking like the Kara from _before_ minus the obvious maniacy.

  
Alex feels skeptical about whatever is in her hands but finds herself curious at what could possibly be making her sister happy, “What is it?”

  
Kara’s eyes are bright and wide, a little crazy as she says, “The final part of my time travel machine.”


	2. Chapte 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for death and suicide talk buuuuut Legends are in the next chapter!

Alex somehow manages to get Kara out of the basement and into the shower. She thinks it’s more because Kara is so pleased with getting the weird gadget to work than it is because Alex asks nicely. Kara takes it with them upstairs, sets it very gently on the kitchen counter and tells Alex not to touch it or she’ll burn her hands off quite seriously. 

Alex tries not to get huffy especially when she sees the way the photos in the hallway are turned around. One of them is even shattered _inside_ of the wall. She remembered when Kara had came up with the idea to line them in the hall as a sort of timeline. It was after a particularly grueling week for Lena, when Lillian had tried to escape prison again and Lena had to deal with all the press and the questions. Kara had called Alex over and they’d hung up pictures from Lena and Kara’s first date, their first game nights first kiss, even the first time Lena and Alex had hung out alone. They’d gotten drunk in the middle of the afternoon under the guise of trying new whiskeys and it was still one Alex’s favorite memories to date. The pictures went on to some of Lena’s accomplishments, the hospitals and charities she started, the people she’d inadvertently saved. Then there was the wedding photos that had always been Alex's favorite. Their love was palpable and so was their joy. When she’d ask Kara why she wanted to hang all the photos, Kara had simply explained that sometimes Lena needed a reminder that she was worthy and allowed to have love. That if she ever got too far in her own head, there was clear evidence of that love all over the walls. 

Alex’s eyes water at the memory and then her tears actually fall when she fishes the smashed photo out of the wall because it’s a sonogram photo, the last one she notes as she eyes the date, when they’d found out they were having a little boy. She pulls it free from the frame, careful of the glass, and tucks it away into her jacket while her sister showers. It was a special photo and it didn’t deserve to be broken. She’d leave the turning of the other photos for another day. In case it overwhelmed her sister and resulted in some kind of aggression or anger. 

While Kara showers, Alex makes quick work of pulling open all of the curtains and letting in fresh air while she checks her emotions. The last thing Kara needed was more instability when her sister was already on the edge of it herself. Kara actually honest to god hisses when she comes out of the bathroom.

  
“What are you doing? Why’s it so bright in here?” Kara groans immediately, hair damp and soaking into her faded T-shirt. Alex can just make out the MIT logo of Lena’s alma mater. She decides not to comment on it. 

“That’s the sun,” Alex says faux cheerfully, like she’s talking to a child, “You remember the sun right? It gives you magical powers.” She says with a waggle of her fingers, slightly uncomfortable with the slew of emotions she’d just been through and eager to shake them off. 

Kara is unamused. “I know what the sun is, Alex. Don’t be ridiculous. Why are you touching things in my house?” She was oddly protective over everything in the house. One time she’d physically thrown Winn out of it for moving some things around in the living room. He’d refused to come back after that. None of the others understood it but Kara had once drunkenly confessed that she could still catch Lena’s scent around the house. It was why everything was relatively untouched and no one was allowed any deeper into the house than the kitchen or living room. 

Alex sighs, rubs at her forehead in a mirror image of Kara in the basement earlier. “Kara I’m just trying to help okay? You _need_ sunlight. You can’t just keep holing up in this house. I _know_ you miss her, I miss her too but-“

Kara let’s out a booming laugh and Alex doesn’t like the smile on her face one bit. It lacks any Grace of humor at all. “ _You miss her_? That’s rich honestly.” The smile fades from her face quickly and Alex waits her out, steels herself to be the punching bag like she had been for months. “Tell me alex, do you know what it feels like to hold your dying wife and child in your arms? Do you know, what it feels like, to _hear them die_?”

“No,” Alex says hoarsely, tears in her eyes and clogging up her throat, “No I don’t. But if you would just tell me then-“

Kara lulls her neck back, dismissive again as she lets out a scoff, “oh Rao enough! That’s all you guys want to do. ‘Let’s talk kara,’ ‘Tell me how you’re feeling kara’ ‘do you wanna talk about losing _your entire world kara_ ’.” She slams her hand into the counter, takes a deep breath and seems to find some semblance of calm again. Like she’s only just managed to check herself. “That’s the problem with you guys. All talk and no action.”

Alex is a little confused about this current train of thought but it’s the most Kara has spoken aloud in weeks so she tries not to derail it too far. “What are you talking about?”

Kara smiles, maniac and a little haunting, points at the gadget still on the countertop. “I’m going to go back in time and fix it. No more talking, just doing.” 

“I think you need to think about this rationally for a moment. I’m trying so hard to be patient here, but I’m two seconds away from locking you up.” Her emotions get the best of her because it hurt seeing her sister become a shell of her old self and Lena would be so upset with her if she knew Alex allowed Kara to behave this way but she didn’t know what else to do. It was like Kara just got worse as the time went on and no amount of talking could get through to her. 

Kara meanders over to the fridge while Alex speaks and at the mention of locking her up Kara let’s out a laugh like Alex has just said the funniest thing she’s ever heard. It makes Alex's hackles rise. 

“Kara,” Alex almost growls, “I’m serious. It’s been six months.”

Kara grips so tight to the fridge handle, Alex hears it crack, “I know how long it’s been,” She says slowly, “It’s been 6 months, 4 days, and 21 hours. You don’t need to remind me. It’s like missing a limb Alex.” She sounds almost like Kara again, especially when she gets choked up and shakes her head; refuses to finish her thought. 

“You’re killing yourself,” Alex says bluntly, taking a seat across from the weird little contraption because this isn’t a conversation she wants to have standing up, doesn’t think she can anymore with the way her knees wobble and the photo burns into her chest. The device sparks and hums but there’s no break in the noise, like it’s functioning steadily and Alex is momentarily distracted by it. 

“If I wanted to kill myself I would have already,” Kara says casually, kicking the fridge closed so hard it lifts back onto the back legs. It sways for a moment before settling back down on all fours with a thump. “I figured out how four months ago.”

Alex immediately stops looking at the contraption, her eyes going wide and her heart leaping into her throat. “You- What?”  
Kara looks disinterested in Alex’s minor heart attack as she super speeds through making 8 sandwiches. “I have a lethal amount of kryptonite in the basement, it’s in liquid form combined with poison. I just have to drink it. It’s in a flask in my work bench.”

Alex stares at Kara’s back for a long moment. She genuinely doesn’t know where her sister was anymore. She assumes she died with Lena and their son that day- in a way they all did. Alex genuinely did miss Lena. Without her she had no one to get drunk with on fridays, no real opponent at scrabble, and most importantly no one to love her sister. She tried, she tried so hard to be there for Kara but Lena’s absence left a wound Alex didn’t know how to fix. Given Kara’s current state, the way she spoke now, Alex didn’t think she _could_ be fixed. It wasn’t easy to lose a partner, let alone a partner and a child, and though Alex could feel sympathy for her she didn’t quite understand the pain. It didn’t help that as time went on kara became more and more reclusive, down right refusing to be a superhero and quitting her job at Catco; though Catco had been the first to go. She spent a lot of time in the basement and when Alex couldn’t find her at all, she would often get reports of Kara at the top of L-Corp, tip toeing on the edge. 

So to hear her sister was suicidal isn’t surprising even though it makes her want to throw up at just the thought. 

“But it’s okay,” Kara goes on clearly unperturbed, like she hadn’t just dropped a huge bomb. “Because I got it working and I’m going to fix it.” Excitement laces her voice even as Alex tries to make sense of this new information. 

Ultimately Alex decides to let it go for the time being because she doesn’t have the energy to fight with her anymore and if she was honest with herself, she’d missed talking to her sister, hearing her voice; even though she sounded not quite herself.

“What even is it?” She asks, half curious, half weary. 

“Just a standard teleportation device,” Kara says as she spins around and sits across from Alex with her plate piled high. “It took forever to get right because I kept frying the circuit board before it could reach peak performance. That’s why I had those rocks on the table. I was using them as power cells.”

“Kara!” Alex gasps, “You could have leveled the whole block if it exploded.”  
Kara rolls her eyes, polishes off her sandwich, “I know what I’m doing first of all and second of all, I don’t care.”

“Yeah,” Alex notes sadly, “I’m starting to notice.”

Kara finishes off the rest of the sandwiches in record time, popping to her feet and grabbing the device excitedly. She taps away at it for a moment and then there’s a spark of electricity and Alex shields her eyes. 

When she brings her arm down again, there’s a blue ring just ten feet in front of them, it’s almost ceiling to floor and humming and crackling with energy. Kara is almost halfway to it before Alex snags her arm. 

“Kara wait-“

But Kara just ignores her and pulls Alex’s weight like it’s nothing because Alex refuses to let her go. She hears a small pop, loses the air in her lungs, and then feels her knees hit something hard. 

Alex opens her eyes again and sees grass all around them. It looks like they landed in a park. She can see kids playing a couple yards ahead of them, hears dogs barking and birds chirping, the passing of cars and buses. “Where are we?” 

Kara spins around to face her with a wide grin, “Not where. _When_.”

Alex rolls her eyes, stands up and brushes the grass off her knees. “Okay, when are we?” Her calm is completely forced because Kara has officially lost it and Alex doesn’t know whether to be scared or impressed by the lengths Kara was going to to get Lena back. It wasn’t easy to just manufacture a time travel device and Alex suddenly realized that Kara had slaved away at the design and workings behind it for _months_. 

Kara looks down at the teleportation device, spins it upside down, then around, flips it back and forth. “I’m not sure exactly I forgot to put a display on it but it doesn’t matter. Come on.” She grabs Alex’s hand and wraps a hand around her waist before flying into the air. 

Alex feels the wind whipping and her heart beat in her ears but then it’s over almost as soon as it began as they land in front of a small blue house. It’s exactly like the one they just left. Kara doesn’t even bother to look both ways as she begins to cross the street but Alex is quick as she drags her back behind a car. 

“What in god's name are you doing?” Alex hisses. 

Kara frowns at her. “I’m going to save my wife! What do you think I’m doing?”

Alex feels her patience finally snap. She grabs Kara by the collar of her shirt and yanks her down, “Listen to me you little shit. I’ve had enough of you giving me heart attacks today. We are messing with time here, you’re not going to go into your house and possibly see yourself. You could destroy everything!”

Kara wrestled herself free, eyes narrowed in a glare, “Everything’s already destroyed alex!”

“Kara stop, just fucking think for two seconds about someone other you and Lena. Just stop.” Alex practically shouts into her face. She feels guilty the second it comes out of her mouth but Kara finally quiets, nods tersely to let Alex know she’s been heard. 

“You can’t go over there,” Alex starts, holding up her hand when kara starts to open her mouth. “Be patient! We don’t even know if anyone’s home, or what time were even in. What if you’re not even born yet? Or married?”

Kara opens her mouth like she wants to say something but ultimately clicks her jaw shut. Alex allows herself to feel smug for all of two minutes. 

“I can see through the house,” Kara says, eyes narrowed and crinkle out in full force. 

“Why are you saying that like it’s a bad thing? Who’s there?” 

Kara exhales sharply from her nose, annoyed at whatever she sees. “It’s not the right time,” She says, pulling out the device and tapping at it again, “There’s a different family in there. Something isn’t right.” Her murmuring is almost like she’s talking to herself more than Alex and it’s like they’re right back in the basement again with Kara spiraling and Alex helplessly watching. 

Alex follows after her as Kara walks blindly down the street. They pass a couple with a dog and while Kara plows straight through them, Alex asks for the date. The woman stares at them oddly but says “April 22nd, 2017.” She even confirms that they are in fact in the United States. When she catches up to Kara again, her sister is muttering to herself. 

“Hey your thing worked,” Alex tells her and Kara stops and stares at her. “They said it’s April 22nd. You went back 7 months.”

Kara starts to shake her head no much to Alex’s confusion, looks down again at the device. “No no something’s not right. One of the bits broke off when I tossed it or something. If this was seven months back then we’d be living there. It’s not- that wasn’t-“

Alex places her hand on Kara’s shoulder and Kara falls silent, flinches under Alex’s hand in surprise but doesn’t necessarily shrink away. “It’s gunna be alright. We already know we’re in the right time maybe we just aren’t in the right place.”

“I know where I live alex,” Kara sighs, rubbing her forehead and staring off into the distance, “I must have miscal- oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no-“

Alex's eyes widen in alarm, “What? What is it?” She spins around and tries to find what would have Kara so unsettled and all she can see is a few houses and a bus stop bench. She doesn’t get what the problem is considering it looks just like a regular street, in a regular town, until her eyes trace over the bus bench again. On an ad, is a picture of her sister in her super suit and while that wasn’t out of the ordinary for them, the time and day stamped on it along with a TV Channel logo and the words ‘Tune in to the CW’s new episode of Supergirl, airing Tuesdays at 7/8c’ was highly disconcerting. 

“We traveled universes,” Kara whispers shakily, “It’s- I opened a portal to a different universe.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sara Lance has arrived to save the day.

“We’re so fucked.”

Alex let’s out a laugh of surprise, stares at her sister in befuddlement. “I mean true but jeez, watch your language.” It was easier for her to crack jokes about her sister seemingly taking on a new personality than it was for her to actually think about how deeply Lena’s loss was affecting her. It was like Lena was her happiness and impulse control and now without her Kara was a ticking time bomb.

Kara grimaces and it’s probably more because the time travel device had died and not come back on again- no matter how many times she’d heat visioned it or thunked it into the table- and less because she’s cursing in the middle of the Starbucks they’re sitting in.

“We just have to figure out how to get out of here.” Alex says eventually when all Kara does is prod at the time device. This universe, wherever or whatever it was, made her uncomfortable, like she was being watched. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was really wrong. “Do you see why having a plan is a necessary thing?” Again humor and sarcasm did wonders to deflect her feelings.

Kara scowls, an almost pout creasing her lips. “I don’t need a lecture, Alex. I acted a little- brash. But I don’t regret it. If I made it hop universes I can make it time travel.” Brash was an understatement and Alex wondered if Kara even realized half the things she was doing or if she was so blinded by the hole Lena left that she just had tunnel vision. It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time but it was proving to be the worst kind of tunnel vision. Alex thinks she preferred when Kara would jump headlong into danger to save someone else then she did this self destructive and maniac Kara in front of her.

”That doesn’t change the fact that we’re stuck here with no resources. The DEO doesn’t exist here. Everything’s a TV show.” Alex tries not to let that tidbit bother her. It was weird to google her name and see herself playing herself but it not really be herself. She figured the less she knew the better so she’d derailed her google search almost immediately especially when she’d stumbled across images of her waking up next to Sara Lance. It was a private moment that she thought was only for herself but apparently in a different universe it was all for entertainment. It was extremely embarrassing.

“Hey what about Sara?” Alex wonders, her mind finally clicking bits of information into place because while she had been focused on having sex with Sara at the wedding, she wasn’t completely ignorant to her set of skills that she’d definitely bragged about before taking her to bed. “She’s got the time ship right? Is she still doing that gig? Maybe we can get her to come get us and take us home!” It was a long shot, especially since they didn’t really have a way to contact her but they currently had no other options. Plus, Alex really wouldn’t mind seeing a familiar face.

Kara looks disinterested at the being brought home part of Alex’s little speech but then her eyes light up in that familiar maniac way and Alex gets the feeling the only part she really latched onto was ‘time ship’. “How do we call her? Do you have her number?”

Alex blushes, spluttering her breath, “I don’t- why would I- she exists on a different earth!”  
Kara stares at her flatly. “You had sex with her and didn’t even get her number?” It was much too judgy for Alex's taste and she wasn’t sure if she was just projecting or if there was actual mirth in Kara’s eyes. Whatever it was was gone before she could really place it.

“You’re not going to turn this on me,” Alex says a little huffily, “You’re the one that brought us to a different universe. These people make me uncomfortable.” She says, shifting a little. She kept getting the feeling that people were staring at her and more than once did she feel like she was being photographed but she’d just put it off as being shaken from the universe hop. Or overly paranoid- working with the DEO so often and keeping secrets so much wreaked havoc on her nervous system.

Kara sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose and disappears into some kind of train of thought. Alex waits her out because she’s grown used to it now. The way Kara would be in front of her but not really in front of her, miles away in her own thoughts and memories. Alex surveys the crowd as she waits for Kara to come back to her and it’s then that she realizes that the people around them are in fact staring at them.

“Hey we should get out of here.” Alex whispers uncomfortably, “Those kids look like they’re about to come over here.” A group of almost teens were huddled by the counter, staring at them giddily and clutching notebooks to their chests. It looked like they were trying to talk themselves up to something. Alex really hoped they didn’t find their courage. She wasn’t sure how interacting with an alternate universe would affect everything.

“We have to create a time aberration.” Kara says instead of answering her, continuing on whatever brain tangent she’d been on aloud. “If we make a big enough one Sara will show up and then she can take us back in time, help me fix what I need to, and then we can go home.”

“Kara you can’t just get her to do your bidding. She has important time stuff she has to do too- wait stop! What are you-“ But kara isn’t listening to her because she’s already stood up and started addressing the crowd, that damn tunnel vision blinding her to all else again. Alex hears her say “I’m Supergirl’s evil twin” faintly over the blood rushing in her ears as she too gets up, adrenaline coursing through her veins and starting her fight or flight response. She doesn’t get to make a decision on either before Kara’s using her heat vision to set half the store on fire.

It’s like the only thing that registered to Kara was an aberration in the form of absolute mass destruction. She gets to destroy almost two entire buildings before police show up and Alex just does her best to keep up with her. She dodges screaming injured people and frantic cops and it’s only Kara floating above and raining down mayhem that keeps her in Alex’s sight.

Because the ground is absolute chaos. It’s like a scene out of the movies really, the way Kara just blows up the cop cars and bounces away their bullets. If this world didn’t have a DEO then there was no kryptonite so absolutely nothing could stop her. Alex feels a little sick at the glimpse of Kara she sees amidst the destruction. Because she’s smiling, almost giddy at the panic below her. At one point Alex actually hears her cackling about _how weak the humans are_. If Alex used humor and sarcasm to deflect her emotions, then Kara definitively used anger and her powers to hide her own.

But then, as Kara is lifting the crumbled roof of a Target to _throw_ at the SWAT team pouring in, something fires on her and it sends her hitting the ground with a large boom and a lot of smoke. Kara gets back up again, infuriated and glaring at nothing until heat pours from her eyes at whatever she sees. It’s then that the time ship comes into view, the invisibility shield falling away at Kara’s offensive attack. Alex watches it descend and then what looks like Firestorm engaging Kara in hand to hand combat. Alex pities him because she certainly would not like to be up against Kara while her sister was in this kind of state.

Kara sees him, sees the ship, but she doesn’t stop. It’s like she’s still blind in her rage, stuck in her tunnel vision and the only thing she registers is attack and destroy. Alex does her best to run through the panic on the streets to get to them because even though she knew Kara was in the wrong, she didn’t want any harm to come to her. She finds one of the Legends first, the steel man Dr. Haywood, if Alex remembers correctly.

“You need kryptonite!” Alex shouts over the chaos, heart pumping loud in her ears, “She’s not herself she’s not going to stop!” Kara really wasn’t herself because back before Lena had died she would have never been the cause of someone else’s injury. Even in her beginning days of being Supergirl, saving people had always been at the forefront of her mind.

Dr. Haywood’s eyes go a little wide and his skin retracts back to normal as he nods and darts into the ship. Alex follows hot on his tail, doesn’t even get a chance to marvel at the ship as they run through the metal halls. He takes a left and then a right and Alex spots the Captain’s office and the kitchen before she’s in what looks like a cargo bay.

“Gideon!” He bellows, barely skidding to a halt in front of a smooth plate glass that looks like the bank teller vaults that send the money out to the cars, “We need kryptonite from earth 32 can you-“

“Yes, Dr. Haywood, it’ll be ready in a moment.”

There’s a beat of awkward silence where Dr. Haywood looks unsure of himself. “So,” he drawls, tries to make idle chat as they wait, “How have you been?”

Alex glares at him, “My sisters trying to destroy another universe, how do you think?”

Dr. Haywood grimaces. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair.”

Something like a microwave bings and Dr. Haywood jumps and reaches into the retracting plated glass to pull out a sizable rock of kryptonite. He runs out of the cargo bay and Alex follows him again as he rushes into a lab of some sort.

“We need to synthesize it to get it in-“

“Yeah, yeah, start a burner I’ll do it.” Alex practically shoves him out of the way because like hell was she going to let some guy she hardly knew synthesis the one thing that could actually kill her sister. She feels at home working behind the chemistry set and for the first time in a while she feels useful. The task here is simple and there isn’t any emotion in it as she breaks down the Kryptonite and gets it into a syringe. Lately her problem had been keeping her emotions out of everything.

With Supergirl out of commission, the DEO and the Guardian had been as busy as it's ever been but Lena’s absence had affected more than just Kara and Alex struggled to bounce back from it. The first few months had been the worse. She’d pull all nighters at the DEO and then go check on Kara, pull her out of whatever frenzy she’d work herself into or hold her while she cried until she passed out. She was often emotionally and physically exhausted. J’onn had made her see a grief counselor after she’d gotten an HR case with using excessive force with a recaptured escapee. She’d snapped on James and Winn more times than she could count because James liked to wear his guilt on his face even though _it_ had been an accident and Winn liked to piggy back that blame too and _no one_ could really get what Kara was going through. Not even J’onn could get through to her. But this she could do. She could synthesis this kryptonite and solve this one problem in front of her because god knows she didn’t know where to begin with any of the others.

Alex and Dr. Haywood work in silence for about 5 minutes before Alex hears their comms blare over the ship. It startles her but her hands hold steady. Nate however, jerks his hand and shatters a beaker at the disturbance.

_“Skirt is pissed! I love it!”  
_

_“Ray, Jax, get her to chase you out of here! There’s too many civilians! Nate?! Where are you?”_

Alex heart beats faster at the sound of Sara’s voice. She tries not to let it distract her too much because keeping her emotions out of everything was the only way she wouldn’t completely lose it. She’d already gotten more than half of the work done, she couldn’t let anything distract her now. Not with innocent lives on the line.

Nate puts a hand to his ear and responds a bit sheepishly. “I’m with Alex, we’re synthesizing kryptonite so you guys can neutralize her.”

Alex grimaces at the way they talk about her sister like she’s a common threat. Even though that’s exactly what Kara was right now. She was something that needed to be put down and here Alex was helping it right along. She blows out a sharp breath, struggles to get those damn emotions under control. She hears a squawk over the comms, some static and then Sara again.

_“Alex is here? On the ship? I swear to god whoever had dishes duty had better have done them-“  
_

_“It was Mick! Me and Amaya swapped him last mission when he fucked up that recon!”  
_

_“Mick Rory you son of a bitch-“  
_

_“I did them! I just didn’t use water and soap. I used fire.”_

Nate is bright red, trying desperately to get a word in edgewise and eventually he turns around so Alex can’t see his face and whispers heatedly into the comms, “Gideon has an open link over the ship radio! Thanks for _embarrassing_ _all_ of us in front of our guest.”

Alex bites back her laughter, briefly recalls seeing a charred mess in the kitchen now that she has a moment to think.

_“Oops.”  
_

_“Sorry guys.”  
_

_“Merry band of idiots I swear, Nate hurry up Supergirl’s just fried Ray’s suit and Jax looks like he’s barely hanging in there.”_

Nate whips back around, face back to its normal color, “Hi yes. Are you ready now?”

Alex shows him the liquid kryptonite already loaded into a syringe, glowing ominously in front of their faces. “As I’ll ever be.” She says seriously. It’d be the ultimate test, to stick her own sister with the one thing that could kill her. But there was no option and Alex couldn’t let her harm any more people because at some point Kara would bounce back from this. When she did, Alex wanted to make sure her guilt wouldn’t suffocate her, even if she had to shoulder it herself.

Nate looks sympathetic but resolute and they run back out the doors of the ship to a somehow even more chaotic scene. There’s even helicopters flying above and the volume has magnified. She hears gunshots and screaming and explosions and cackling and it’s a nightmare she didn’t even know she had coming to life. “Oh man Ava’s gunna be pissed.” Nate murmurs as he too takes in all the damage. It stops them in their tracks for a moment and it lets Alex take in the battlefield.

About 40 feet ahead of them, Kara is on the ground and fighting fire with fire with Jax. Sara had been right, he was definitely losing. He was already on his knees, trying desperately to hold up the blast but Kara just bared down on him like they weren’t comrades, like they hadn’t fought side by side all that time ago. It was absolutely terrifying.

“Throw me.” Alex orders. She gestured at Kara and Jax when Nate looks at her in confusion. She bounces on the tips of her toes in anticipation as his eyes lit up in recognition. Nate steels up, places a hand on her belt and one on her shoulder and looks at her again for confirmation. She nods at him impatiently, worry for Jax and worry for Kara ripping at her insides. If she killed him there would be no coming back.

“Okay, on three… one-”

“Just fucking throw me Nate or Jax is going to die!”

“God jeez fine!”

Alex gets two seconds to right herself and plan a point of entry before she’s colliding with Kara’s back and quite literally breaking her shoulder and collarbone on impact.  
Kara barely flinches.

“What the-“ Kara spins around in fury and Alex sees Jax hit the ground fully in relief. He breathes heavily as Kara rounds on Alex who is trying not to pass out from the pain of her broken bones. It’s then that Alex gets a good look at her. Her eyes are dark in anger, and if Alex thought she looked like Red K Kara back at the house, then this is an even darker version. It’s like she’s completely lost herself but some semblance of reality hits her when she looks at Alex.

Alex isn’t sure if it’s because she’s recognized her or if the kryptonite in the syringe sticking out of her neck finally hits. Either way, Alex breathes a sigh of relief when Kara crumples to the ground in front of her. She breathes heavily for a moment, really feels her pain hit her then as the clumping steps of the Legends get to them.

Nate looks extremely apologetic when he sees her collar bone. “I threw you too hard I’m so sorry-“ He’s shoved unceremoniously out of the way and then Alex is face to face with a smirking Sara Lance. Her face is streaked in dirt and soot but she’s just as beautiful and intimidating as Alex remembers. Alex tries to smile at her but it comes out as more of a grimace.

Sara looks at her fondly, a touch amused, “You know, when I got an alert about a level 6 time aberration, I certainly didn’t expect to see you again, Agent Danvers.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI I’m not actually caught up with Legends so im just using a name and a vague idea and running with it lol

Ray and Nate carry Kara to the med bay where she’s promptly strapped to a bed. They don’t give her a sunlight to help wake quicker and Alex feels terribly guilty at the relief that swims in her veins. It’s nice to be able to not worry about her sister inflicting damage on herself or on others, even if it’s just for a little while. So when Sara points her to a room, she showers and changes her clothes and just decompresses. Eventually though, the images of Kara destroying a city get to be too much and she leaves the room in search of comfort. 

That search takes her straight to the Captain’s office. Sara’s learning against her desk, in civilians clothes and looking softer than Alex has ever seen her. She’s reading a small leather book of some sort, frowning down at it in thought and for some reason Alex finds it calming. 

“Hey,” Sara says, a small smile blooming on her face when she notices Alex approaching. “How are you doing?” 

She closes the journal immediately, tossing it blindly on the desk behind her and giving Alex her full attention. Alex doesn’t even know where to begin on answering that question. She figures it must show on her face because Sara’s eyebrows go high and she lets out a low whistle. She holds up a finger to Alex, meanders around her desk and pulls up two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. 

Alex takes a seat on one of the leather chairs and smiles wryly as Sara pours her a drink, “Ya know, the last time we drank whiskey, we got into some trouble.”

Sara’s grin is cheeky as she hands Alex the glass, “Didn’t you figure it out already, Danvers? Troubles my middle name.”

Alex rolls her eyes fondly and they drink in silence for a while. It’s nice to have someone share her company and not ask a million questions. Everyone is always tip toeing around her, curious about Kara but too scared to ask, wondering how she was doing herself but never forming it into the proper words. Sara doesn’t sit like she was waiting for Alex to fill her in. She was almost passive sitting next to her, legs slightly spread and sipping her whiskey slowly like she was savoring the taste and enjoying the silence as much as Alex. 

“So my sister kind of lost it back there,” Alex finds herself saying eventually, it’s out before she can really keep it in and Sara just smirks, takes a sip of her drink again. 

“An understatement honestly.” Sara says with a shrug but it’s not judging in the least. 

Alex sighs, rubs her forehead and leans heavily into the chair. “I don’t know what to do anymore. She created this...this time travel device only it put us in a different universe. We were just trying to create an aberration so you could pick us up and take us home but then she just…” She trails off, annoyed at not being able to properly voice what she wants to say. There was too many words to describe what Kara had done and none of them were nice. 

“Completely lost it.” Sara supplies, nodding her head a little. “I’ve never seen Supergirl lose her cool. Like at all. I don’t even know who that was out there.”

It makes Alex feel better, to have someone equally as astounded as she was. Her sister doing a 180 was actually laughable with how different she was. Only it also wasn’t because Alex was genuinely scared and worried for whatever her next move would be. 

“What’s going on, Alex?” Sara finally asks, her voice gentle and quiet. Alex knows she could completely brush her off and Sara wouldn’t push. Maybe she’d purse her lips and frown unhappily but she’d take whatever answer Alex gave her and leave her alone for the time being. But Alex was tired of keeping it all in. Especially when she felt helpless and like she didn’t know what to do. 

“Lena died,” Alex says, the words still feeling foreign to her even after all this time. Sara had been at the wedding but though Alex hadn’t see much of her because she was too busy being the maid of honor and making sure everything was absolutely perfect. Alex briefly wonders if they would have hooked up at this wedding too. They probably would have. Alex can almost hear them both poking fun at how gross and in love Kara and Lena were but she can also see them falling into bed together and trying to grasp that love for themselves. 

Sara veers back, shock on her face and her fingers slackening on her glass. “What? That’s... I suddenly understand a lot better.” She says with a vacant kind of look in her eyes. 

Alex laughs half heartedly, more a dry forced sound because she doesn’t know what else to do. “She died in a car accident six months ago. She was 6 months pregnant.”

Sara actually flinches, her glass sloshing just the slightest bit and she eventually decides to set it on the table behind them. “Shit, Alex, that’s rough. I’m so sorry.”

Alex shrugs, “Not my wife and baby,” She says because she was not the one anyone should feel sorry for, not when Kara had already experienced so much loss in her life. If anything, Alex is surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. She supposes Lena was the glue for a lot more than just Kara’s heart. “Kara’s not the same. She’s lost her mind. It’s like the more time goes on the further out of touch with reality she gets.”

“Loss is not an easy thing to deal with,” Sara says and her eyes go a little haunted too and Alex remembers hearing about Laurel and then Stein and she’s reaching out to squeeze Sara’s hand before she realizes it. Sara squeezes hers back tightly and they sit with their hands linked for a while. 

“You said she made a time travel device?” Sara asks suddenly, brow furrowed tight. Alex doesn’t hear her the first time though because she’s a little fuzzy around the edges now and Sara’s hand looks very nice holding hers. It isn’t until Sara tugs a bit on said hand that Alex focuses. 

“What? Yeah, she made it to go back in time.” Alex says quickly, a beat late. 

Sara smiles at her in amusement, “That’s genuinely what a time travel device does, Danvers.”

Alex blushes slightly, clears her throat and pulls her hand away. “Whatever, what about it?”

Sara smirks, shakes her head a touch fondly before it’s melting away and her frown is back. “What was she trying to do?”

“She was trying to bring Lena back.” 

Sara grimaces, “Yeah, as the Captain of a Time ship stopping time aberrations I can’t actually allow you to do that.”

Alex leans back in her chair, eyebrow raising playfully and she delights in the way Sara’s cheeks tinge the slightest bit pink. “Oh you can’t _allow_ me, Captain Lance?”

Sara’s ears go a bit crimson but she laughs delightedly, “I’m afraid so, Agent Danvers. I’d have to tie you down or something. Make sure you don’t mess with the time stream.” She says suggestively, leaning forward into Alex’s space just the slightest bit. 

Alex laughs, her heart beating a little faster and she feels her body relax completely. It was a combination of the warmth from the whiskey and the calm Sara brought. Alex couldn’t remember the last time she was this relaxed so it was only a matter of time before it was ruined again. Only this time it wasn’t Kara or alien related, it was in the form of Sara’s monitor behind her desk springing to life. 

“Captain Lance,” A sharp voice barks out.   
Sara jolts, looks behind her shoulder briefly as she presses a hand to her chest. “Jesus Christ, Ava, can’t you like make it ring first?” She rolls her eyes at the monitor for Alex’s benefit and Alex stifles another laugh. 

This Ava person doesn’t look amused in the least. She looks stiff and pristine and Alex already doesn’t like her. 

“When were you going to tell me you had a level 8 aberration in your presence.” Ava says sharply. 

Sara doesn’t seem to be bothered by her tone but Alex feels her hackles rise. “She’s not an aberration. She got stuck and needed a lift. That was the only way they knew how to contact me.”

“And who is that?” Ava asks sharply staring at Alex through the monitor. 

Sara gets up slowly, her shoulders set and eyes narrowed in a glare. “Did you need something Agent Sharp or are you just being a pain in my ass for fun?”

Agent Sharpe stiffens, looks momentarily wounded by Sara’s words before she sighs and loses some of her rigidity. “We have to talk I’m coming through.”

Alex doesn’t get to be confused by what she means before a portal is opening- similar to the one that’d gotten them into this mess- and Ava Sharpe is stepping through. Alex feels a spark of protectiveness maybe even latent jealousy and she sizes Ava up before she even realizes what she’s done. She decides in the end, that she could definitely put her down if need be. 

“What is it Ava?” Sara asks, her brow furrowed like she’s worried. Alex doesn’t really like the implication that Sara could feel enough emotion about her to be worried.   
Ava’s eyes drift pointedly to Alex and Sara exhales sharply. “Can we talk in private?”  
  
Alex rises to her feet, stands beside Sara and crosses her arms across her chest. “Anything you have to say about my sister you can say to my face.” She says none too kindly.   
Sara touches her back briefly, a reminder that she is on her side, before she lets her own hands rest on her hips. 

Ava sighs but she looks at Sara as she says, “Do you remember when you asked about Mallus and I pretended to not know anything?”   
Sara scoffs. “Yeah. You’re a horrible liar by the way.”

Ava darts her eyes nervously to Alex. It’s the first sign of weakness Alex has seen on her and something foreboding creeps up her spine. “I didn’t tell you because of who Mallus is. We thought if you knew you’d intervene and make it worse like your team tends to do.” She says, annoyance creeping in to her tone. 

“Hey, her team does their best!” Alex finds herself cutting in defensively. She catches Sara looking at her in slight wonder from the corner of her eyes but she refuses to make eye contact. Her ears feel like they’re on fire. 

“Their best broke the time stream!” Ava counters. 

Alex isn’t sure why she takes two steps forward like she’s ready attack, a growl on her lips. Maybe it’s because she’s already put together what Ava is about to tell them. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t like the way Ava softens when she looks at Sara. Or maybe it’s because she’s been having a terrible six months and she’s close to snapping herself.   
Sara grabs her before she can do anything rash. She’s firm as she pulls Alex back by the waist and spins her so her momentum has her storming in a different direction than Ava. It makes Alex madder. She whirls back around ready to attack but doesn’t charge again. 

“You have some nerve judging them while you sit behind some desk. They’re the ones actually putting in work. So they made a mistake. Oh fucking well. You would have done the same thing in their position. Because don’t forget the only reason you exist and have a job is because of _them_.”

There’s a thick silence, where Alex’s chest heaves and Sara looks gobsmacked but also proud. Ava looks like she regrets even crossing over. 

“Be that as it may,” Ava starts again, voice shaky but trying desperately not to show it. “Their actions caused a ripple that kills Lena Luthor and without her Supergirl becomes Mallus. Our projected timeline has Supergirl destroying the planet in 2052.” 

Alex feels her face go pale, feels herself stagger back and it’s only a strong hand at her back that keeps her steady. Sara’s lips are pursed when Alex looks at her and her face is ashen. 

“How do you know it was us?” Sara asks sharply, “How do you know what we _did_ caused this?”

Ava sighs and Alex can see the stress on her face weighing heavy. “All the alterations leave marks, even if we fix them it’s not quite the same. Sometimes insignificant things happen in result. We’d deemed her death insignificant. It was truly an accident, wrong place at the wrong time. Until time started shifting. In 4 weeks, your sister,” Ava says gravely, “Will try to kill you. It’ll be the last straw and you won’t help her again. She flies to Gotham and hooks up with Harley Quinn. They destroy Gotham and Batman in two days. She kills Superman using some of Lex Luthor’s old blueprints and research. There is no stopping her with all the combined knowledge and power.”  
Alex is speechless. 

“Wait, wait…” Sara shakes her head, hands raising into the air in the universal motion for stop. “You’re telling me that the time we picked up Zari from, is where _Kara Danvers_ rules?”

“She attempts to take over Argus but the Arrow stops her,” Ava explains, “We don’t know how they manage it but she is the reason there’s an alien ban. She collects them and makes them stronger for her army and kills any human she deems weak.”

Alex feels her hands start to shake and suddenly all she can remember is the way Kara had sneered down at all those people, how she’d called Alex and everyone trying to help her weak. Her heart aches in her chest because she _knows_ that Ava is telling the truth. She can already see it happening in front of her. 

“No,” Sara refuses, “There’s no way in hell…”  
Ava sucks her teeth, taps at her bracelet irritably and then a hologram is springing to life. 

In the hologram, Kara’s sitting on a throne made of skulls, she’d always loved Game of Thrones, and wearing an all black super suit, complete with black cape and all. Her hair is jet black and tied into an immaculate bun but her eyes are cold and hollow, Alex can see it clearly even through a hologram. In front of Kara is a figure in green, unmistakably the Green Arrow. She looks almost bored as he’s tossed in front of her. 

“ _Another useless human trying to be a hero,_ ” Hologram Kara coos, inspecting her nails casually. _“How many Green Arrow’s do I have to kill before you get the message?”_

The Green Arrow staggers to his feet, his hood falling away to reveal dark blonde hair and a sharp jawline but it’s not Oliver Queen. He’s much too young. Ava must read her confusion because she says, “Oliver Queen’s son. The original Arrow was killed alongside the rest of the team in one of the first battles against her. They tried to kill her with kryptonite but her suit made her impervious to it. She set them all on fire with her heat vision.”

Sara looks extremely unsettled by this so Alex takes her hand as subtlety as she can. Sara grips her tight and refuses to let go. 

“ _We will never stop…”_ The Green Arrow doesn’t get to finish before Kara’s holding him in the air by the throat, lightening quick. 

“ _Until your defeated, Mallus. Yes you’re all so unoriginal._ ” Hologram Kara mocks. She seems to revel in the boy shaking in front of her as he fights desperately for breath before tossing him aside so violently his body creates a crater. “ _Lock him up with the rest. I’m going to make an example of him._ ” She barks out sharply, _“I’m sick of these stupid heroes trying to ruin my plans. I’m going to hang him up outside the front door, ward off any others who want to follow is his steps,” She almost grumbles as she gets back to her throne. “And somebody get me some potstickers I’m fucking starving.”_

The hologram cuts out after that and Alex feels like she’s going to vomit. 

Ava looks grim. “That happened last night. Her plans she spoke of, are to release the earth's core pressure outward thus eviscerate the entire planet and create a new planet 2 billion light years away. They’ve already started building the ship. If she destroys the earth in her time, it radiates throughout the time stream and destroys ours as well. We’ve estimated we have 3 months before she’s completed the ship and the planet.”

Ava straightens suddenly, tilting her chin up and trying to exude power, “So you’ll understand why we need to take her into custody.”

Alex sneers, sets her shoulders and her legs and prepares for a fight while Sara stiffens beside her. “I’d like to see you fucking try.”


End file.
